Roster for Seattle Angst:

Catchers:

• 5771 Alicia Machado, 34, c (620 G, 1.4 DR/40, 8.9 OR/40) (who?)
• 6794 Chris Carrabba, 25, c (87 G, -0.7 DR/40, -3.7 OR/40) (who?)

Infielders:

• 6731 Bill Walton, 26, 1b (189 G, 2.8 DR/40, -7.7 OR/40) (who?)
• 7104 Hakan Loob, 20, 2b (85 G, 0.8 DR/40, -2.0 OR/40)
• 7011 Matthew Shultz, 21, 2b (29 G, -5.4 DR/40, -1.4 OR/40) (who?)
• 6546 Andy Brandy Casagrande IV, 27, ss (49 G, 2.1 DR/40, -4.7 OR/40)
• 7111 Christine Plentyhoops, 18, ss (5 G, -16.8 DR/40, -17.6 OR/40)

Outfielders:

• 6843 Dre Johnson, 24, cf (131 G, 1.1 DR/40, -3.4 OR/40)
• 6699 Ruud Gullit, 23, cf (102 G, -1.1 DR/40, -1.3 OR/40) (who?)
• 7017 Juan Garcia-Herreros, 19, cf (11 G, -6.5 DR/40, -5.5 OR/40) (who?)
• 6574 Amanda Miranda Panda, 27, rf (323 G, 1.7 DR/40, 0.9 OR/40)
• 6941 Michael Laudrup, 20, rf (13 G, -0.9 DR/40, 7.7 OR/40) (who?)
• 7160 Jean-Paul Gaster, 21, rf (13 G, -2.5 DR/40, -4.3 OR/40)

Starters:

• 6206 Joules Scott-Key, 30, sp (175 G, 5.1 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 6197 Miguel Bernardo Bianquetti, 28, sp (161 G, -4.8 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 7037 Florian Pilkington-Miksa, 19, sp (6 G, -26.1 PRAA/300)

Relievers:

• 6171 Cedric Bixler-Zavala, 30, mr (261 G, 2.6 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 6641 Leeroy Jenkins, 27, mr (130 G, 5.1 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 6362 I-Perfection Harris, 29, rp (238 G, 8.6 PRAA/300)
• 5970 Rose Bertram, 30, rp (197 G, -2.9 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 7193 Tim Rice-Oxley, 18, rp (6 G, -36.5 PRAA/300)

Minors:

• 6391 Marcel Rodriguez-Lopez, 28, 3b (365 G, 7.0 DR/40, -7.0 OR/40) (who?)
• 7153 Teemu Selanne, 17, mr
• 7134 Justin Meldal-Johnsen, 18, c
• 7046 Freedy Johnston, 18, lf
• 7154 Betty Suarez, 17, rp
• 7121 Christopher Mintz-Plasse, 17, c