Roster for San Jose Sexwales:

Catchers:

• 7678 Tchaikovsky Cantalicio, 24, c (221 G, 0.5 DR/40, -1.1 OR/40)
• 8166 Surender Nada, 21, c (34 G, 0.2 DR/40, -15.6 OR/40) (who?)

Infielders:

• 7487 Hector Macho Camacho, 24, 1b (210 G, 1.8 DR/40, -7.1 OR/40)
• 8170 Dr. Trent Artichoker, 20, 1b (28 G, 0.6 DR/40, -2.4 OR/40)
• 7664 Chizu Shimizu Buckalew, 26, 2b (227 G, 0.2 DR/40, -1.4 OR/40)
• 7784 MC Hammer, 21, 2b (13 G, -17.2 DR/40, -13.5 OR/40) (who?)
• 7237 I Made Mangku Pastika, 28, 3b (364 G, 0.4 DR/40, -3.5 OR/40) (who?)
• 7934 General Booty, 22, ss (115 G, -1.8 DR/40, -1.3 OR/40)

Outfielders:

• 7830 Cornelius Boza-Edwards, 25, lf (110 G, -0.3 DR/40, -1.6 OR/40) (who?)
• 8000 Atilla Freska, 22, lf (103 G, -4.6 DR/40, -3.5 OR/40)
• 7179 Chardonnay Beaver, 27, cf (284 G, -0.9 DR/40, -3.1 OR/40)
• 8089 Cory Phast Lane, 20, cf (79 G, -4.8 DR/40, 6.9 OR/40)
• 7396 Jasmine Albuquerque-Crossaint, 26, rf (329 G, -2.0 DR/40, 2.3 OR/40)

Starters:

• 7167 Gandalf Hernandez, 31, sp (184 G, 1.4 PRAA/300)
• 7311 Reverend Hobbit Forrest, 26, sp (98 G, -7.1 PRAA/300)
• 7909 Candy Button Disco, 23, sp (59 G, 2.1 PRAA/300)

Relievers:

• 7948 Cameo Crispi, 22, mr (61 G, 1.3 PRAA/300)
• 7114 Jamez Brickhouse, 31, rp (261 G, -1.0 PRAA/300)
• 7781 Reverend Pierbattista Pizzaballa, 24, rp (119 G, 7.0 PRAA/300)
• 7682 Oozi Cats, 25, rp (92 G, -9.6 PRAA/300) (who?)
• 8158 Penny Nickel, 19, rp (15 G, -17.6 PRAA/300)

Minors:

• 7558 Salami Blessing, 24, ss (143 G, -4.2 DR/40, -5.3 OR/40)
• 7870 Steele Fortress, 24, rf (51 G, -10.8 DR/40, -6.4 OR/40)
• 8138 Joylord Gumbie, 17, sp (who?)
• 8163 Census Johnston, 17, 1b (who?)
• 8121 Dr. Marijuana Pepsi, 18, sp
• 8101 Syncere Friends, 18, 1b