Roster for Seattle Angst:

Catchers:

• 8736 Paula Abdul, 27, c (176 GP, 2.5 DRAP/40, 0.8 ORAP/40) (who?)

Infielders:

• 8590 Jason Starkey, 29, 1b (414 GP, -0.1 DRAP/40, 3.9 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8905 Cressida, 28, 2b (288 GP, -1.4 DRAP/40, 3.1 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8865 Bruce Springsteen, 26, 2b (271 GP, 1.7 DRAP/40, 3.9 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8644 Jonathan Howard, 30, 3b (434 GP, 4.7 DRAP/40, -0.7 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9364 Dave Matthews, 23, 3b (86 GP, 5.2 DRAP/40, 3.4 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8723 June Allyson, 28, ss (232 GP, 2.9 DRAP/40, -1.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9183 Kelly Clarkson, 22, ss (143 GP, 0.4 DRAP/40, 1.8 ORAP/40) (who?)

Outfielders:

• 8623 Zak Starkey, 29, lf (415 GP, -0.0 DRAP/40, 4.1 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8797 Christian Rudder, 26, lf (116 GP, -1.4 DRAP/40, 3.2 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8985 Prince Rogers Nelson, 27, cf (311 GP, 1.5 DRAP/40, 16.5 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8665 Rosanne Cash, 28, rf (466 GP, 1.2 DRAP/40, 12.3 ORAP/40) (who?)

Starters:

• 8075 Emrakul the Aeons Torn, 33, sp (1563 IP, 5.3 PRAA/100 IP)
• 8511 Lizzo, 29, sp (1254 IP, 15.1 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 8699 Jay-Z, 29, sp (1009 IP, 11.6 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9175 Freddie Mercury, 25, sp (460 IP, 16.7 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9081 Nestor Fernando Muslera Micol, 26, sp (381 IP, 1.8 PRAA/100 IP)
• 8791 John Cougar Mellencamp, 26, sp (357 IP, 11.1 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)

Relievers:

• 9261 Annie Lennox, 24, mr (85 IP, 0.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9119 Norah Jones, 23, rp (60 IP, -1.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9391 Jonny Greenwood, 21, rp (23 IP, -12.4 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)

Minors:

• 9240 Dave Stewart, 24, c (99 GP, -1.3 DRAP/40, -1.7 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9380 Johnny Rotten, 19, rp (24 IP, 4.1 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9231 Neyla Pekarek, 21, ss (who?)
• 9406 Rob Pilatus, 19, lf (who?)
• 9279 Jack Bruce, 19, cf (who?)
• 9508 Gwen Stefani, 19, cf (who?)