Roster for Seattle Angst:

Catchers:

• 8736 Paula Abdul, 28, c (223 GP, 2.2 DRAP/40, 3.6 ORAP/40) (who?)

Infielders:

• 8590 Jason Starkey, 30, 1b (463 GP, -0.1 DRAP/40, 3.7 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8905 Cressida, 29, 2b (323 GP, -1.5 DRAP/40, 2.6 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8865 Bruce Springsteen, 27, 2b (318 GP, 1.6 DRAP/40, 4.8 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9364 Dave Matthews, 24, 3b (131 GP, 5.8 DRAP/40, 4.1 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8723 June Allyson, 29, ss (270 GP, 3.3 DRAP/40, -1.2 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9183 Kelly Clarkson, 23, ss (184 GP, 0.9 DRAP/40, 2.2 ORAP/40) (who?)

Outfielders:

• 8797 Christian Rudder, 27, lf (152 GP, -0.4 DRAP/40, 3.1 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9406 Rob Pilatus, 20, lf (21 GP, -1.1 DRAP/40, -0.8 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8985 Prince Rogers Nelson, 28, cf (357 GP, 1.5 DRAP/40, 15.6 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9508 Gwen Stefani, 20, cf (14 GP, 2.9 DRAP/40, -6.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8665 Rosanne Cash, 29, rf (513 GP, 1.6 DRAP/40, 13.0 ORAP/40) (who?)

Starters:

• 8075 Emrakul the Aeons Torn, 34, sp (1569 IP, 5.4 PRAA/100 IP)
• 8511 Lizzo, 30, sp (1361 IP, 14.7 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 8699 Jay-Z, 30, sp (1107 IP, 12.8 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9175 Freddie Mercury, 26, sp (566 IP, 16.8 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 8791 John Cougar Mellencamp, 27, sp (415 IP, 12.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9081 Nestor Fernando Muslera Micol, 27, sp (404 IP, 3.1 PRAA/100 IP)

Relievers:

• 9261 Annie Lennox, 25, mr (109 IP, 0.7 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9119 Norah Jones, 24, rp (69 IP, 2.3 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9380 Johnny Rotten, 20, rp (39 IP, 0.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)

Minors:

• 8623 Zak Starkey, 30, lf (431 GP, -0.0 DRAP/40, 3.8 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9391 Jonny Greenwood, 22, rp (37 IP, -19.2 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9231 Neyla Pekarek, 22, ss (who?)
• 9607 Garrett Borns, 20, 2b (who?)
• 9577 Paul Banks, 20, 2b (who?)
• 9279 Jack Bruce, 20, cf (who?)