Roster for Seattle Angst:

Catchers:

• 8736 Paula Abdul, 30, c (316 GP, 1.8 DRAP/40, 1.8 ORAP/40) (who?)

Infielders:

• 8590 Jason Starkey, 32, 1b (559 GP, -0.6 DRAP/40, 4.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8776 St. Soter, 31, 1b (465 GP, -2.6 DRAP/40, 4.3 ORAP/40)
• 8865 Bruce Springsteen, 29, 2b (406 GP, 1.8 DRAP/40, 4.4 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9526 Allan Houston, 24, 2b (134 GP, -2.8 DRAP/40, -4.7 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9364 Dave Matthews, 26, 3b (225 GP, 5.0 DRAP/40, 3.3 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9183 Kelly Clarkson, 25, ss (272 GP, 1.9 DRAP/40, 3.9 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9231 Neyla Pekarek, 24, ss (27 GP, 3.1 DRAP/40, -8.0 ORAP/40) (who?)

Outfielders:

• 8797 Christian Rudder, 29, lf (221 GP, 0.1 DRAP/40, 5.5 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9406 Rob Pilatus, 22, lf (57 GP, 1.0 DRAP/40, 2.9 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8985 Prince Rogers Nelson, 30, cf (448 GP, 1.0 DRAP/40, 13.3 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9508 Gwen Stefani, 22, cf (49 GP, 5.0 DRAP/40, -6.3 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 8665 Rosanne Cash, 31, rf (608 GP, 2.2 DRAP/40, 12.5 ORAP/40) (who?)

Starters:

• 8511 Lizzo, 32, sp (1535 IP, 14.1 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 8699 Jay-Z, 32, sp (1323 IP, 13.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9175 Freddie Mercury, 28, sp (762 IP, 19.5 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 8472 Peter Shukoff, 31, sp (604 IP, 3.9 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9081 Nestor Fernando Muslera Micol, 29, sp (496 IP, 6.9 PRAA/100 IP)
• 8791 John Cougar Mellencamp, 29, sp (465 IP, 10.6 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)

Relievers:

• 8502 Anne de Paula, 32, mr (974 IP, -0.3 PRAA/100 IP)
• 9261 Annie Lennox, 27, mr (164 IP, 9.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)

Minors:

• 9119 Norah Jones, 26, rp (89 IP, 3.5 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9380 Johnny Rotten, 22, rp (67 IP, 3.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 9577 Paul Banks, 22, 2b (17 GP, 4.2 DRAP/40, -9.6 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9279 Jack Bruce, 22, cf (15 GP, -5.6 DRAP/40, 8.3 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 9607 Garrett Borns, 22, 2b (who?)
• 9761 Don McLean, 17, lf